Now at bat....try # 8

Well, we went in this morning for our eigth try at IUI. Took last month off due to a nectarine sized cyst on my left ovary. Started stims last Saturday and the RE office finally did not try to tigger me onthe 10th day. We waited until day 13. Yesterday, the ultrasound revealed that I had 4 really nice follicles and they triggered me yesterday. we went i nthis morning and after the 45 minute waitin the waiting room, the whole deal was done inside of 15 minutes. I am to start progesterone again on the 27th and then 8/8 for blood test to see if we are or not.

This may be our last shot as CC has decided for wahatever reason that she will not help us out financially. She is sending 1/6th of what we actually need but that doesn't realy help much. i don't know what her issue with me is. I feel like I am somethig she would like to scrape off the bottom of her shoe.

Found out that there is an egg donation program within a hour of here. If I donated my eggs, the recipient will pay for all IVF and meds. We split whatever the number of eggs there are and I am only responsible for about 1K. There is also the possibility that we can ICSI. That would be a dream come true.

So once again, we wiat the two excruciating weeks to find out. It feels like the quest for baby is driving every aspect of my life.

speechless

came home from work sick yesterday. felth like death warmed over. once again, nature has left it's cruel mark and we are not pregnant. just got off the phone with the RE. we are going to try a round of clomid this month to rey to save some money. the bravelle is so damn expensive and if we are forced to go the IVF route, we are going to need every dime. so, bloods and another ultrasound in the morning. little vampires. it is a wonder that I am not anemic.

i just feel broken right now. i have undergone every diagnostic procedure and they tell me that everything is fine and yet, here we are 9 months later when i thought that i would be having a baby and we are still stuck in the stirrups. everyone around me (directly or indirectly) are managing to get pregnant and i am getting really afraid that this is really never going to happen for us. maybe i am in that percentage that medical science and technology just can't help.

then what?

Hubby is trying to be supportive but things at work couldn't be worse for him right now.

managed to get out and get some grocery shopping done, what a feeling of accomplishment.

Bad Day Thursday

What a crappy day. DMC was having some issues and called out. Just feeling generally stressed tight now. Hubby was sick yesterday too. So we are 1 week into try #7. Not even sure what to think. It all seems like kind of a haze. I am taking to progesterone like they have instructed but it doesn't seem to do much. I am tired but I have also worked 30 hours in 3 days.

I guess we will wait and see.

Strike 6 for baby

So, we are in Niagara Falls for our 1st anniversary and discover that we will be trying AGAIN! Strike 6! I knew that I wasn't but some little part of your soul holds on when you hit the normal 25 days and your aunt Flow hasn't arrived.

tried to have a nice time despite the cramps.

So Far...So Good

Went in yesterday morning and got my ultrasound and HCG injection. Looks like 3 of the 14 eggs made it. I am sure that I ovulated which allowed me to sleep better last night. Went in this morning and it was a breeze. No cramping, no problems. The office is able to estimate the total number of swimmers (~70 million, with 85% motility). So, here is hoping the 3 smartest ones find their way to where they are supposed to go!

Beautiful day here. Nearly 80 degrees. I am so glad that I changed my day off to today.

6th try for baby

well, ultrasound and bloodwork done yesterday. I have 7 potential eggs on each size!
HOLY CRAP! 14! Last month it was 9.....

Gotta love that Bravelle!

no no no no no

did home test......
NEGATIVE.

Very sad right now.

Dad's birthday today....what a gift that would have been.

The Big Dig

So, hopefully i popped out 3 eggs this month. I had two on the left and once on the right ready to go with the HCG injection. Went in this am for the actual insemination. A little crampy but was able to get to work by 9:30 am.

Beautful weather and I am feeling very calm at the moment.

Off to Mom and Dad's this weekend for Easter. Looking forward to seeing the family and the "Dot" head.

Eggs R Us

Well, I have 5 ready to go on the left side ranging from 7-13 and 4 on the right, with a couple being 13.

I have to do 2 units of Bravelle tonight and tomorrow and then back to the Dr on Saturday AM for another US and FSH level.

We are set up for Monday at 7:30 for the "big dig"!

GO SWIMMERS GO!

(fingers, legs and ankles crossed at this point)

Bravelle, Bravelle, Bravelle

Did my 2nd night of 2 units of Bravelle. Have to go back in on thurs for another ultrasound and FSH level. Lovely thunderstorms to fall aspleep to last night. I am sure Sasha just loved the fact that Mommy and Daddy were nestled safely in their beds upstairs and left the little princess down in her crate to ride out the storm.

Had a great time at the Firshouse with Bones, Deb, Dean and Becky making up really bad names (Amanda Lay, Phil McCracken, etc).

Hubby is already up and at work. I don't have to be in early this morning but my body told me it was time to get up, so here I sit.

No go Again

Went in on thursday for a pregnancy check. Woke up Friday and didn't need the results. Went in this morning for another FSH / Ultrasound and I start my second cycle of Bravelle tomorrow night. They are increasing me to 2 units per day over the next 4 days. back next Thursday for more bloods and another Ultrasound. I feel like I am stuck in loop and slowly becoming a human pin cushion.

Cramping like crazy and going to bed.

Baby Watch # 4

Went in yesterday morning and tried again. Was expecting a lot of cramping and had NONE!
Hubby took the day off of work and rested most of the day. I went grocery shopping and ended up saving $80 dollars between special and coupons. Kind of happy about that considering the $800 for Bravelle that we spent this month.

Trying not to get my hopes up to much because I am getting tired of being diappointed. Mom keeps on telling me to try to kepp calm. Not always such an easy thing for me to do.

St. Patricks's Day today so I must get out my orange to wear. May stop by NWP for the party just to see if Hubby wins the raffle.

Post Surgery Day # 3

Well, the diagnostic laproscopy went well according to Dr. S. The cyst that everyone was so concerned about was reabsorbed. Everything looks wonderful from the inside. I woke up, however, screaming and writhing in pain. After the morphein and dilaudid, they send me home. I left like something was stabbing me in the lower gut. To top that pain off, all of the excess gas that they couldn't remove, has ended up in my shoulders and neck. I have been in more pain the last few days that I can ever remember being in.

They took some nice pictures and on Wednesday, I will actually be told what I am looking at. Mom came down to help out for a few days and for that I am extremely greatful. Not that hubby isn't great at taking care of me, but the whole sergeant shouting orders at me thing just isn't very therapeutic all the time.

So I recover....

Strike 3

Took a test this morning and it was negative again. Really sad about this time. Hoping for October baby.
:-(
Wondering if GIFT is an option. Expensive. Don't really like the idea of laproscopy but...

Baby Attempt # 3

Well, we had some weird weather overnight. When I went to bed, it was flurrying. All night, the wind was whipping. Got up to put all 5 of the doggies (yes, Dot and Phoebe too) outside and it was 67 degrees.

the wind is still crazy and now we are expecting sever inches of rain. Welcome to the Delaware Valley! If you don't like the weather, wait a minute.

Off to have more bloodwork and another Ultrasound again. We should try tomorrow or Friday and keep our fingers crossed.

The doctor wants to do a laproscopy to see if I have endometriosis. I think he is out of his gourd. No symptoms, no family history...but the insurance will cover it!!!

Maybe the weather is a sign...... a wind of change.....

No Go For Baby Again

Well, no go again this month. I am starting to wonder if something is wrong with me and they just haven't found it yet.
Would like to try again this month but with the christmas holiday, I am not sure that the scheduling will work out.
Today is Dean's Birthday!
We got his his company Christmas party tonight.
Will try to keep my spirits up.

Black Friday

Well, I am off for yet another ultrasound and HCG injection. We go for the 2nd try tomorrow morning at 7:30. I have a better feeling about this month. The last ultrasound showed 4 eggs on the left and one big one on the right. Not looking forward to driving anywhere near the Willow Grove Mall. Then it is off to work immediately after the appointment.

keeping our fingers crossed.

My uterus on tv

Today is the ultrasound and FSH again and the joyful hysteroscopy.

more later...

Another Saturday

WEll, day # 2 of Clomid. Not as bad as last month. No hot and cold flashes. It is about 29 degrees outside, I could use a warm flash right now. Losing 35 pounds makes winter a little different this year. I have lost my thick layer of blubber and now get cold so easily.

Wednesday is another ultrasound and FSH. If I am ready to ovulate, they will give me the HCG again and then Black Friday will be try # 2. Also, having the wonderful hysteroscopy. Oh joy! My uterus on TV IN LIVING COLOR. There are just somethings that I do not need to see. More cramping, how fun.

Trying to stay calm and positive. Still have cold (3 weeks) and am hoping that it does not turn into bronchitis like it did in the spring.

Off to work......

It's a NO-GO this month...

woke up to discover that I am definately not pregnant this month. I had a feeling and I refuse to psych myself out with this ordeal. I have been a complete bitch and then the cruel fate of my face breaking out told the story. So, another round of ultrasounds, clomid, and the joys of a hyteroscopy and endometrial biospy await me this month. I am kind of bummed. I was veryhopeful that it would take since everything else went so smoothly. Maybe they just did it too early. I don't ever remember ovulating at day 10 in my cycle. They are the experts and I am not being fair to them by second guessign their abilities. They have done this a heck of a lot more than I have. patience. patience.

patience.

patience.

...sigh...