7dp3dt......

Well, So far so good. Apart from going to bed really early and waking back up between 4 and 5 am, I am hanging in there.

The cramping seems to have subsided some.

I am on day 24 overall and 7dp3dt.

Boobs are still killing me and my RE's office has increased my progesterone to 400 mg in the AM and 400 mg in the PM. (this is NOT helping the boobs, thatyouverymuch).Discovered the tanktop with built in bra is quite comfortable, more so that traditional over the shoulder boulder holder.

Trying to remain calm at work (but all the barking, meowing, and general mayhem makes it a challenge).

Lovely and supportive parents will arrive on Wednesday for Easter holiday, Thursday is BETA. Explained to mother on the phone last night that if negative beta, I would be going out and getting extremely drunk, regardless of their presence. (Mom and Dad are ministers....and you know what they say about those preacher's kids).

Wanted to thank everyone for their support thus far. I am a bit of a control freak and pretty high strung. If nothing else, my IF experience has given me a new appreciation for dealing with myself when I am not in control.

Still in complete awe that we have made it this far. Last month, AF showed up on CD23. I feel like I am over the hump (so to speak) and am feeling very positive right now.

Praying for all of my friends, wherever they are, that God gives them peace and wisdom and comfort as he has given me. I truly have some amazing people in my life and I don't know what I would do without them.

My blood work was okay. Progesterone was 38 and I guess they were looking for it to be at least 30. The nurse said something out my lining not being fully converted. They are increasing my progesterone to 400 mg twice a day. Of course, tehy left a message on my cell phone and the office was closed by the time I got the message, so I'll try to get in tough with them today to find out what the heck is going on.

I am just a little fresked out becuase my last cycle was only 23 days and today is the dreaded day 23. The cycle always seems to be shorter after a stim cycle. Cramping doesn't seem as bad today.

Thank you all for your words of enouragement....hubby is trying to help but really doesn't understand much about all of this. So, 6 days until beta.

Growing Concern

Not sure if it is just in my head or what. I am feeling tired and crampy and by boobs are still killing me. It seems alot like AF is on her way. I am really scared that our 3 little embryos are not going to make it. I broke down and POAS it is was BFN. I just don't know what to do. Feeling very down right now. It has just been such a long road, I thought that this would be it.... I mean, we had eggs, they fertilized, they thrived, they looked great. The get transferred back into me and boom.....I go in a week for my actual beta, I just have this feeling that the trip will be unnecessary. any thoughts?

transfer day photo

4dp3dt

I didn't sleep well last night. I'm sure it had something to do with hubby snoring and having the bedroom window open. you see, we live on a main street and this time of year, not warm enough to put the air conditioner in the window, but too warm to leave window closed, is my least favorite time of year. To boot, I think my allergies are kicking in.

Lovely!

Got up and made some awful decaf hazelnut coffee, did my progesterone and am now getting ready for another day of work (trying not to get bit, scratched etc) by the lovely animals that I help to care for.

Dad and Grandma got stranded in Newark last night. Dad is supposed to be flying Grandma back out to the west coast. There was bad weather in CT and they missed their connecting flight in Newark and got to spend the night there. Oh, how I do not miss my traveling days. (used to train Medical Practice Management Software....NATIONWIDE) So, Dad will fly her out and turn around and fly back home. He forgets that he will be 64 not 46 this year.

Ta-Ta's are still killing me. Couldn't even manage a bra yesterday, instead opted for tank top with built in bra. Seemed to do the trick. Note to self: must buy more of these amazing things.

Thank you all for you comments. What a terrific surprise to come home after work so see that I am not alone in this. It is a great source of inspiration.

oh.... also, I have reconnected with a bunch of friends from high school. One of which was nice enough to dig up our pre-prom picture. I cannot explain what I was thinking with my hair but I am the one on the far right......

3 ALIEN PANCAKES, EXTRA SYRUP

OKAY:

We transferred 3 lovely embryos (aptly names Larry. Curley & Moe) on Saturday. 2 of them were 5 celled and one was a 7 celled. Everything was very uneventful except for the part where I swore I was going to fall off the table as they inverted me for my 30 minute wait. It was kind of funny.

We headed over to the NJ office of Super RE a little early. Hubby was glad to be able to sleep in. I got up, puttered, showered, primped and went down stairs. We ended up watching a biography on Ozzy Osbourne of all people and were laughing because neither of us could understand a stinkin' word he was saying.

We got in the car and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. While waiting to be seated, I get a call from RE's office. Can we come in an hour early? Well, we live 90 minutes away and we are waiting to be seated for breakfast. We got there 30 minutes before our scheduled time. They took us right back, gave me my Valium (sure, that will be effective in 10 minutes.....NOT) and prepped me. Hubby looked so cute in his tyvek and mask. The whole thing was over before I knew it.

On the way out of the office, I ran in to "M" and her hubby. "M" and I are on the same cycle and have been through my of the same experiences and getting to see her made my day. If it happens for both of us, out kids will be EXACTLY the same age and she had her retrieval right before me on Wednesday.

Thinking sticky thoughts 2dp3dt. (two days past 3 day transfer). Another thought which I am not happy about snuck into my head....

I woke this morning and realized that I am going to have to let go of the huge amount of
Anger that I have been harboring over that whole ordeal with the previous Doctor’s office.


They would bring me in to do the HCG trigger shot and then 24 hours later, send in a 20something year old nurse in to do the IUI. They never once checked via ultrasound to see if I had actually ovulated. When I questioned them, they said that "there was no way to really tell" if I had ovulated, which I know now is BS. I am so hopeful that this is not going to be that kind of experience


I would love to walk in with a big fat belly and just slap them ( Especially Dr. UsedCarSalesMan). I feel like they were holding us prisoner emotionally every month. They were pushing us towards their IVF program ($20K) and that was out of our price range. They almost had me convinced that there was something wring with me, but every single lab test and diagnostic procedure was normal. Thank God we found SuperRE’s office and Dr. A is just the best.


Hubby reminds me that there is a difference in quality between Wal-Mart and Macy’s. (Isn’t that sweet, he put it into shopping terms for me…something I can relate to…..awwwww, I love my hubby)



I am finally up out of bed for the first time since Saturday and my back and ta-ta's are killing me. I am guessing the ta-ta's are related to the progesterone, the back is related to the mattress.

I must go put the doggies out and make myself some decaf (argggggggghhhhhh) coffee.

THINKING STICKY THOUGHTS

Going for embryo transfer this morning. Not really worried about it as much as I am about laying in bed for 2 days. (no laptop, sucks!)

Hubby is taking me out for breakfast and is looking forward to donning his tyvek. He wears it everyday, but this time, he will wear it because he want to, not because something nasty that can melt is face off is being poured in front of him. (HAZMAT MAN).

fingers, toes, and legs crossed..........

Embryology Update day #2, 1 day before transfer

Spoke to our lovely embryologist just a few minutes ago. I am starting to love phone calls from super RE's office.

They froze 5 of our 11 embryos.

Of the 6 they have left out we have the following:
2 that have divided into a 2 celled
1 that has divided into a 3 celled
and
3 that have divided into a 4 celled
(see picture above)

We will have our transfer at 12:30 pm tomorrow.

I apologized to the embryologist for the scream yesterday and she totally understood. I remembered to ask her what the deal was with the ones that did not make it. She explained that:
1 of them only had one nucleus
1 of them had 3 nucleus

these were considered abnormal and therefore discarded.

2 of them were atritic (which means they died)
1 of them never matured.

It is some kind of closure anyway.

We are overjoyed and praying that everything goes smoothly tomorrow.

So here we go..........

11 FERLTILZED EGGS

The embryologist just called!

WE HAVE 11 FERTILIZED EGGS!!!!!!!!!

They will freeze 5 of them today.

We will wait on the 6 best and tomorrow they will call and update us on how they are doing.

On Saturday, we will implat the 3 best.

ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!

This is really happening.

I hope I didn't rupture the embryologist ear drums when I screamed.

16 eggs retrieved

Out of my 22 follicles, we had 16 eggs rertived.

Doing well.

Egg Retrieval, Take 2

Well, after changing protocols from Bravelle to Gonal-F, we have 18 follicles and did our HCG trigger at 11:45 last night.

We are scheduled to have the egg retrieval done tomorrow morning. Considering last try, we only had 2 mature follicles and 2 immature follicles, 18 is a giant jump. I am trying to think positively about this but not get my hopes up too much because anything can happen.

The nurse who called from the Super RE's office last night asked something that really stuck in my mind:

If you spontaneously ovulate, will you be willing to do an IUI?

hmmm....with 18 follicles, even if they not all winners, in my tubes and introduce a gazillion sperm...hmmm, what would I do with 8+ embryos. Well, that is the kicker....would I be willing to do selective embryo reduction, knowing that doing so could jeopardize the remaining embryos? I don't think so.

If I were to "spontaneously" ovulate, that tells me that my super RE is not managing my care very well. We have done EVERYTHING according to what they have instructed. How could that happen?

And I wonder why no one asked us that LAST MONTH, when we did our first IVF? The nurse could not answer that.

Anyway, doing my best to remain calm. Hubby is taking tomorrow off (you should think so) and I will do my best to go back to work on Friday. Saturday, barring any unexpected duds, we should be implanting embryos.

And the wait begins.......

And we're back.....

Aunt Flo decided to show up a little bit early this month. I am sure it is because it was a stimulated cycle last month. I explains to migraine yesterday.

Oh, I got bit by a dog at work so now get to take giant hosepill antibiotics for the next 10 days. That should be fun for my intestines.

Have to make some calls today to set up payments, etc...

We want to try again and would like to follow the recommendation of the embryologist and do ICSI this time.